Chasing thoughts…

April 19, 2010 at 9:20 am Leave a comment

Tonight while vacuuming the basement I thought to myself

I wonder when all of my hours of cleaning will show.

I’m pretty sure that throughout the day I am cleaning at least 15 minutes of every hour. From cleaning up toys to cleaning up dishes and Cheerios, it feels like I’m never just enjoying the moment. I’m always in that constant state of struggle and chaos. Sure if the kids are sleeping things get done and stay clean for a few minutes but it’s never perfect.

As I was thinking while blissfully vacuuming I thought about what was more important than knowing that my house shows the clean and not the clutter.

Does what I do with my kids show every day?

Does my love for them show in everything I do?

Does my parenting show in their actions?

These questions are more important to me than whether or not my house is going to stay clean. In a few years all of the kids will be in school and I’ll have plenty of time to clean and keep my house sparkling. Right now they only have fleeting moments of childhood to enjoy. That is why we chose for me to be at home with the kids. We didn’t choose it so the house could stay beautiful. Really if that was the main goal we would had to stop at 1 child.

Being home with my kids has always been my dream. When I was a little girl I would play “apartment” with my dolls and I wouldn’t leave them to go to work. (I do remember though hiring a “babysitter” so I could go shopping.)  I have always wanted to be a mom. Even when I had big dreams of becoming a lawyer or a teacher. I always knew being at home was my calling. Just sometimes I didn’t want to admit that to myself.

Does what I do with my kids show every day?

I do think that what I do with my kids shows. Paige and I always make a grocery list together for shopping. She always loves to help me cook in the kitchen. Julia and I share a love for running and biking along with reading. Stephanie and I love being mommies and we play that often. Jason and I love to make each other giggle. It’s the little moments of pure bliss that make me smile. It makes it all worth it and when I see them playing with each other or alone I can see all of the little things we do together making an impact.

Does my love for them show in everything I do?

Lately I’ve been taking the time to make snacks from scratch for them. I pour my heart and soul into the cinnamon rolls in hopes that they like them as much as the canned ones. Even though they don’t like them as much I know that I put my everything into them. Eventually they will have adjusted tastes to not want all of the crap in the canned ones. One day they will realize the difference in the taste is the love I put into them. Corny I know but it’s so true. I don’t just do things because I’m supposed to- I do it because I love them.

Does my parenting show in their actions?

This is my biggest wonder. I feel awful when I have to remind them to say please and thank  you. It’s not like I didn’t teach them it and we use it all of the time at home but it seems like the minute we get outside the house all of my parenting goes out the window. I am so self conscious about what other parents think of my kids when they are out in public. Most of the time I can pretend to let it roll of my back because I know we’ve all been there with the screaming toddler or the sassy 1st grader.

But then something happens, after a hard day or two of parenting I’ll see my little guy walk up to one of his sisters and hug and kiss her for no reason other than to say I love you. I’ll see compassion in my daughter’s face as she helps someone out by donating an old toy. So what I teach them through my parenting does show. It shows in the little ways we treat each other and for that I can not be more prouder of my children.

So what’s on your mind?


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Chasing a clean bathroom… Chasing lentils…

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