Chasing good enough…
During my little break from mommyhood (Paige and Julia at school, Jason napping, and Steph out to lunch with Daddy Blue) I hopped on to Facebook. One of my friends posted an article about The Good Enough Mother and it got me thinking about myself and my job as a mother.
I am no where near perfect. I let my kids out of the house in mismatched clothes that they have selected. I’m late to stuff because I had to finish something at home first or because someone didn’t want to pick up her sister from school. I sometimes let my kids skip taking a bath or washing their hair. Sometimes we stay up late. I let my son vacuum because he likes to. My kids have been to the ER. It happens and life happens.
According to the article by Elaine Heffner, CSW, Ed.D. states the following would make someone a good enough mother.
A good enough mother:
- loves her child but not all of his behavior.
- isn’t always available to her child whenever he wants her.
- can’t possibly prevent all her child’s frustrations and moods.
- has needs of her own which may conflict with those of her child.
- loses it sometimes.
- is human and makes mistakes.
- learns from her mistakes.
- uses her own best judgment.
I thought to myself. Why does this make someone good enough? Why can’t this be a great mother? This is a description of every mother that I know. So does that mean that we are all just good enough? Are we all expected to be perfect?
As much as I enjoyed the article I was a little perturbed. I have never claimed to be perfect nor do I want to be- even when it comes to motherhood. I always joke around that I keep on having kids so that one day I’ll have this whole parenting thing figured out. I certainly do things differently with my youngest than I did with my oldest. I’ve learned what works for me and what works for my children. Sometimes what I’ve done with one shockingly doesn’t work for another child.
I will never be a perfect mother but I am better than a good enough mother. We are caring, loving, compassionate, and constantly becoming better mothers. Good enough is not the right words to describe us. We are mothers- we all want what is best for our families even if that’s not what is best for yours. I have never met a mother who doesn’t strive to give her family the best she can.
Are you a real mother or just a good enough one?
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